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Relax, I'm not gonna make a joke about your age this year.
For your birthday this year I made a donation in your name to a local charity.
But don't claim it on your taxes, because I might have made that up.
front: HAPPY BIRTHDAY
inside: I wasn't sure what to get you, so I just got you something that I'd like to inherit someday.
You know, because I'm probably going to outlive you.
This card makes no reference to your age.
And that's your birthday gift. Happy Birthday.
The inside of this card is a long diatribe about how the abbreviation "Happy B-Day" saves ink. Ironically, the card is very long on the inside uses a lot of ink. (You should click on the card and read it. This description really isn't doing it justice.)
Happy Birthday Co-Worker
Thanks for being so amazing to work with.
Your reward is this piece of folded paper.
Happy Birthday to my favorite parent
Don't get smug about it. It's actually a tie between you and one other person.
I couldn't be more proud of you.
At least not based on the things you've done.
If you accomplish more, please get back to me.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I know the bottom of the heart sounds like the crappy part,
but that's actually where all of the most thoughtful arteries are.
Happy Jewish Holiday
I'm sorry this card isn't more specific.
I bought it a while ago and didn't know which
Jewish holiday I was going to give it to you for.