March 2013*

155
() Relax, I'm not gonna make a joke about your age this year. - Because to be honest, you're reaching that age where it's just not funny anymore
front:

Relax, I'm not gonna make a joke about your age this year.

inside: Because to be honest, you're reaching that age where it's just not funny anymore.
160
(a) Happy Birthday. - For your birthday this year. I made a donation in your name to a local charity
front:
Happy Birthday

inside:
For your birthday this year I made a donation in your name to a local charity.
But don't claim it on your taxes, because I might have made that up.
156
(a) Happy Birthday. - I wasn't sure what to get you, so I just got you something that I'd like to inherit someday.
front: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

inside: I wasn't sure what to get you, so I just got you something that I'd like to inherit someday.

You know, because I'm probably going to outlive you.
157
(a) Happy Birthday. - This card is blank on the inside. - Well, it's almost blank.
front: Happy Birthday - This card is blank on the inside.

inside: Well, it's almost blank.
158
(a) Happy Birthday. This card makes no reference to your age.
front:
Happy Birthday
This card makes no reference to your age.

inside:
And that's your birthday gift. Happy Birthday.
159
(b) Happy B-Day! Huh? What do you think? Did you notice that the front of this card said, "Happy B-Day" instead of the much longer and more wasteful "Happy Birthday"
front:

HAPPY B-DAY!

inside:
The inside of this card is a long diatribe about how the abbreviation "Happy B-Day" saves ink. Ironically, the card is very long on the inside uses a lot of ink. (You should click on the card and read it. This description really isn't doing it justice.)
162
(c) Happy Birthday co-worker! Thanks for being so amazing to work with. Your reward is this piece of folded paper.
front:
Happy Birthday Co-Worker

inside:
Thanks for being so amazing to work with.
Your reward is this piece of folded paper.
161
(c) Happy Birthday to my favorite parent. - Don't get smug about it. It's actually a tie between you and one other person.
front:

Happy Birthday to my favorite parent

inside:
Don't get smug about it. It's actually a tie between you and one other person.
Happy Birthday.
165
(d) I couldn't be more proud of you. - At least not based on the things you've done. If you accoumplish more, please get back to me.
front:

I couldn't be more proud of you.

inside:
At least not based on the things you've done.
If you accomplish more, please get back to me.
166
(d) Thank You from the bottom of my heart. - I know the bottom of the heart sounds like the crappy part, but that's actually where all of the most thoughtful arteries are.
front:

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

inside:
I know the bottom of the heart sounds like the crappy part,
but that's actually where all of the most thoughtful arteries are.
164
(M) Happy Jewish Holiday. - I'm sorry this card isn't more specific. I bought it a while ago and didn't know which Jewish holiday I was going to give it to you for.
front:

Happy Jewish Holiday

inside:
I'm sorry this card isn't more specific.
I bought it a while ago and didn't know which
Jewish holiday I was going to give it to you for.
163
(M) What do you get for the woman who gave you life? - Well, I looked it up and the correct answer is card.
front:

What do you get for the woman who gave you life?

inside:
Well, I looked it up and the correct answer is a card,
and maybe a small to medium-sized flower arrangement.