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  • #250
    Happy Birthday to one of the best people I know. Not like the #1 best person I know. But you know, one of them.
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    One of the Best

  • #240
    I was going to get you this die-cut card with glitter on the front that played a high-pitched electronic sounding holiday song when you opened it. But then I flipped the card over and it was like twelve bucks. So I got you this card that describes that card in pretty good detail. I mean, you get the idea, right? Happy Holidays!
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    Die-Cut Holiday Card

  • #232
    Happy Birthday to mom and dad's 2nd favorite child. Hey, second best isn't bad. After all, it's not like you were ever gonna beat me.
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    Mom And Dad's 2nd Favorite

  • #230
    I want to wish you a happy birthday, but I'm so bad at it. Bappy Hirthday! Dammit, I've even worse than I thought.
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    Bad at Happy Birthdays

  • #249
    They Don't Make And by, "they," I mean your parents. I guess what I'm trying to say is that your mom isn't producing viable eggs anymore. Happy Birthday!
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    They Don't Make

  • #231
    Happy Birthday Let's get together soon and talk about the old days. You know, when you had your whole life ahead of you.
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    Happy Birthday/Get Together

  • #252
    First Day Of The Rest I bought a card for the last day also, but that one has a much more depressing drawing on the front.
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    First Day Of The Rest

  • #253
    Happy Easter It's funny when you think about it. Jesus comes back to life and people celebrate it. But when other people come back to life, we call them zombies and everyone freaks out.
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    Easter Hypocrisy

  • #251
    Friends For Life Well, the rest of your life. I'm most definitely going to outlive you.
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    Friends For Life

  • #236
    I heard you were sick and you've been complaining a lot. Sounds like you're almost back to normal. Keep getting well.
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    Sick And Complaining

  • #241
    Happy Hanukkah! I mean, Happy Hanukah! Wait. Happy Chanukkah! Or maybe Happy Chahanukah! Fuck it. Happy Holidays.
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    Happy Hanukkah (Spelling)

  • #239
    Thank You I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done. But you have to admit, this card is a great start.
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    Thank You/Great Start

  • #238
    Happy Hanukkah (Christmas Card) Oh, you're not Jewish? Well, now you know how I feel when I get Christmas cards every year.
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    Happy Hanukkah (Christmas Card)

  • #246
    I hope you like this card. I actually helped write it. Dear _________ Happy ________!!! Love _________
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    Any Occasion/Any Time

  • #243
    Happy Birthday, Boss I got you this card for one of three reasons: 1)You're my boss 2) Your name is boss 3) You're kind of bossy and this is my passive aggressive way of telling you to stop being that way.
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    Happy Birthday, Boss

  • #237
    I'm so sorry for your lost, Ding Dong. I know. I know. I immediately regretted buying you a sympathy card that called you a Ding Dong. That was my attempt to cheer you up. But please know how much I care about you and that I'm always here for you.
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    Sorry, Ding Dong

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