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  • #240
    I was going to get you this die-cut card with glitter on the front that played a high-pitched electronic sounding holiday song when you opened it. But then I flipped the card over and it was like twelve bucks.
So I got you this card that describes that card in pretty good detail.
I mean, you get the idea, right?
Happy Holidays!
    $3.95

    Die-Cut Holiday Card

  • #013
    Happy Mother's Day If it's any consolation, my therapist assures me the mistakes you made in raising me were quite common.
    $3.95

    Mother's Day/Common Mistakes

  • #087
    Just Because Just Because
    $3.95

    Just Because

  • #252
    First Day Of The Rest I bought a card for the last day also,

but that one has a much more depressing 

drawing on the front.
    $3.95

    First Day Of The Rest

  • #118
    Thinking of You/Not All Good Thinking of You/Not All Good
    $3.95

    Thinking of You/Not All Good

  • #138
    I Love You I Love You
    $3.95

    I Love You

  • #253
    Happy Easter It's funny when you think about it.
Jesus comes back to life and people celebrate it.
But when other people come back to life,
we call them zombies and everyone freaks out.
    $3.95

    Easter Hypocrisy

  • #234
    You Rock!!! But remember, I'm paper and paper covers rock. So I'm still a little bit better than you.
    $3.95

    You Rock

  • #226
    Thanks for Everything. Just to be clear, this card is literally for EVERYTHING.

Please hold onto it and read it again the next time you do something for me.
    $3.95

    Thanks For Everything

  • #202
    Happy Holidays! I love this time of the year. It gives me the time to thank the people that mean so much to me.
The people that have touched me and made my life so unbelievably joyous.
The people that I hope to have in my life forever.
And since these cards come in giant packs of 50, I can give you one too.
Happy Holidays.
    $3.95

    Happy Holiday/Giant Packs

  • #015
    You're Welcome Hey, I just got your thank you card and wanted to let you know "You're welcome."
    $3.95

    You're Welcome

  • #028
    Be My Valentine Be My Valentine
    $3.95

    Be My Valentine

  • #040
    World's 9th Best Dad World's 9th Best Dad
    $3.95

    World's 9th Best Dad

  • #041
    Congradulations Congradulations
    $3.95

    Congradulations

  • #052
    You Graduated You Graduated
    $3.95

    You Graduated

  • #062
    Think Of You Too Think Of You Too
    $3.95

    Think Of You Too

  • #074
    Will You Be My Valentine? Will You Be My Valentine?
    $3.95

    Will You Be My Valentine?

  • #077
    Couldn't Pick A Better Father Couldn't Pick A Better Father
    $3.95

    Couldn't Pick A Better Father

  • #086
    You're Always Right You're Always Right
    $3.95

    You're Always Right

  • #089
    Thank You Very Much Thank You Very Much
    $3.95

    Thank You Very Much

  • #097
    Married Up/Married Down Married Up/Married Down
    $3.95

    Married Up/Married Down

  • #099
    Happy Mother's Day - Nailed It Happy Mother's Day - Nailed It
    $3.95

    Happy Mother's Day - Nailed It

  • #100
    Cuter Than Expected Cuter Than Expected
    $3.95

    Cuter Than Expected

  • #101
    Thank You/No Place To Write Thank You/No Place To Write
    $3.95

    Thank You/No Place To Write

  • #121
    Heard You Were Sick Heard You Were Sick
    $3.95

    Heard You Were Sick

  • #251
    Friends For Life Well, the rest of your life.
I'm most definitely going to outlive you.
    $3.95

    Friends For Life

  • #236
    I heard you were sick and you've been complaining a lot. Sounds like you're almost back to normal. Keep getting well.
    $3.95

    Sick And Complaining

  • #225
    Thanks. That was awesome. I was gonna PAY IT FORWARD and do something super nice for someone else. 
But then I thought, “No, that sounds exhausting.
I’ll just send you a thank you card."
    $3.95

    Thank You/Pay It Forward

  • #214
    Thank you so much! I can't thank you enough for everything you've done.
So I'm just gonna start by giving you this card and hope that you'll be like, "Cool, that's enough."
    $3.95

    Can't Thank You Enough

  • #213
    Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you and wouldn't change a thing about you.
(But if you could learn how to use your computer, I'd probably love you even more.)
    $3.95

    Happy Mother's Day/Computer

  • #201
    I'm sorry you're not feeling well. If you need anything, please let me know.
Well, "anything" is a pretty broad term.
Let me know if there's something small I can do for you.
    $3.95

    Sorry You're Not Feeling Well

  • #200
    You're getting married!! So happy for the two of you. Are you gonna have an open bar?
True love has never known a couple like you. Do you think it'll be top shelf stuff?
Can't wait to celebrate your everlasting love. You should get Belvedere Vodka. It's really good.
Congratulations!
    $3.95

    You're Getting Married

  • #008
    Happy Birthday, Jesus. This is actually a birthday card for a Hispanic kid named Jesus.
But I think it works for Christmas too.
    $3.95

    Happy Birthday, Jesus

  • #011
    Sorry to hear about your breakup. But if it helps, I always thought he was an asshole anyway. In fact, we used to make fun of you for dating him.
    $3.95

    Break-Up/Support

  • #026
    Didn't Settle Didn't Settle
    $3.95

    Didn't Settle

  • #027
    You Registered For It You Registered For It
    $3.95

    You Registered For It

  • #039
    You're Having a Baby You're Having a Baby
    $3.95

    You're Having a Baby

  • #051
    #1 Dad #1 Dad
    $3.95

    #1 Dad

  • #060
    Local Charity Donation Local Charity Donation
    $3.95

    Local Charity Donation

  • #088
    Same Sex Wedding Same Sex Wedding
    $3.95

    Same Sex Wedding

  • #109
    Christmas/Hanukkah Christmas/Hanukkah
    $3.95

    Christmas/Hanukkah

  • #120
    Always Liked You More Than Mom Always Liked You More Than Mom
    $3.95

    Always Liked You More Than Mom

  • #128
    Congratulations...Finally Congratulations...Finally
    $3.95

    Congratulations...Finally

  • #129
    White Christmas White Christmas
    $3.95

    White Christmas

  • #174
    Let's Grab A Drink Let's Grab A Drink
    $3.95

    Let's Grab A Drink

  • #189
    Thank You/So Thoughtful Thank You/So Thoughtful
    $3.95

    Thank You/So Thoughtful

  • #273
    Happy VD That stands for Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't want you to think this card was 
announcing that I'm about to give you chlamydia.
    $3.95

    Happy VD

  • #210
    You make me so happy. I'll be honest though, cheese makes me pretty happy too.
I'm a simple person.
    $3.95

    You Make Me So Happy

  • #025
    Not An Elf...A Morty Not An Elf...A Morty
    $3.95

    Not An Elf...A Morty

  • #061
    The Thought That Counts The Thought That Counts
    $3.95

    The Thought That Counts

  • #063
    Still Reading Still Reading
    $3.95

    Still Reading

  • #140
    Haven't Talked in So Long Haven't Talked in So Long
    $3.95

    Haven't Talked in So Long

  • #136
    God Bless You God Bless You
    $3.95

    God Bless You

  • #141
    I'm Sorry/Not Gonna Say I'm Sorry/Not Gonna Say
    $3.95

    I'm Sorry/Not Gonna Say

  • #165
    Couldn't Be More Proud Couldn't Be More Proud
    $3.95

    Couldn't Be More Proud

  • #166
    Bottom Of My Heart/Thank You Bottom Of My Heart/Thank You
    $3.95

    Bottom Of My Heart/Thank You

  • #178
    Thanks 800,000 Thanks 800,000
    $3.95

    Thanks 800,000

  • #190
    We Wish You A Merry Christmas We Wish You A Merry Christmas
    $3.95

    We Wish You A Merry Christmas

  • #241
    Happy Hanukkah!
I mean,
Happy Hanukah!
Wait.
Happy Chanukkah!
Or maybe
Happy Chahanukah! Fuck it. Happy Holidays.
    $3.95

    Happy Hanukkah (Spelling)

  • #239
    Thank You I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done.
But you have to admit, this card is a great start.
    $3.95

    Thank You/Great Start

  • #238
    Happy Hanukkah (Christmas Card) Oh, you're not Jewish?
Well, now you know how I feel when I get Christmas cards every year.
    $3.95

    Happy Hanukkah (Christmas Card)

  • #024
    It's Jesus' Birthday It's Jesus' Birthday
    $3.95

    It's Jesus' Birthday

  • #137
    Having A Baby/I Hope Having A Baby/I Hope
    $3.95

    Having A Baby/I Hope

  • #187
    A Truly Amazing Person A Truly Amazing Person
    $3.95

    A Truly Amazing Person

  • #199
    You make me smile. But just so you know, you also make me sigh, roll my eyes, and sometimes say, "Can you believe this crap?"
But that's okay, because I love you.
    $3.95

    You Make Me Smile

  • #031
    Financial Burden Financial Burden
    $3.95

    Financial Burden

  • #098
    The Birth Of The Easter Bunny The Birth Of The Easter Bunny
    $3.95

    The Birth Of The Easter Bunny

  • #274
    Happy Holidays The inside of this card gives step by step instructions for the person to read

on how to read it. Including...

#1 - Act like you're reading something personal I wrote in your holiday card.
#2 - After a couple of seconds, laugh as though I wrote something very funny.

#3 - Now nod your head as though I wrote something very serious and heartfelt.
Maybe touch your heart and exhale, but don't make it look forced.
#4 - Okay, now close the card, look at me and mouth the words, "thank you."
    $3.95

    Happy Holidays/Instructions

  • B-053
    Amazing Human Being (B) Amazing Human Being (B)

    Out Of Stock

    $3.95

    Amazing Human Being (B)

  • #084
    Holiday Gift Card Holiday Gift Card
    $3.95

    Holiday Gift Card

  • #032
    Generic Thank You Card Generic Thank You Card
    $3.95

    Generic Thank You Card

  • B-036
    Happy Birthday Co-Worker (B) Happy Birthday Co-Worker (B)
    $3.95

    Happy Birthday Co-Worker (B)

  • #014
    You Complete Me And I don't mean that in the overly used Jerry Maguire kind of way. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. My life truly would not be the same without you. But I do wish you were less controlling.
    $3.95

    You Complete Me

  • #255
    I Miss Everybody I Miss Everybody
    $3.95

    I Miss Everybody

  • #043
    I Miss You I Miss You
    $3.95 $2.49

    I Miss You

  • #258
    Coronavirus Repellent Coronavirus Repellent
    $3.95

    Coronavirus Repellent

  • #259
    Card vs. Zoom Call Card vs. Zoom Call
    $3.95

    Card vs. Zoom Call

  • #256
    Don't Discuss Weight Don't Discuss Weight
    $3.95

    Don't Discuss Weight

  • #284
    Inflation Inflation
    $3.95

    Inflation

  • #263
    Thank you for being a friend. You sang the front, right? I knew you would. That's why I got you this card. And that's exactly why I've always considered you a pal and a confidant.

All kidding aside, if you didn't sing it, please give me the card back. I've made a terrible mistake.
    $3.95

    Thank You For Being a Friend

  • #282
    Can You Believe/Crap Sorry this card isn't more specific.
I bought a bunch of these and didn't want to commit to just one complaint.
    $3.95

    Can You Believe/Crap

  • #278
    Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. Your Name. I just had to get you this card.

It had your name written all over it.
    $3.95

    Your Name. Your Name.

  • #029
    Thinking Of You Thinking Of You
    $3.95 $2.49

    Thinking Of You

  • #281
    I don't give a F*CK what your Wordle score is But how is everything else going? Good?
    $3.95

    Don't Care/Wordle

  • #072
    Happy Anniversary (Spouse) Once every Century, the perfect couple comes along and redefines the way others view love.
We are definitely not that couple, but Happy Anniversary.

(For the record, that couple is Bernard and Helen Drabicki of Beacon Falls, CT)
    $3.95

    Happy Anniversary (Spouse)

  • #176
    So Happy We're Still Married So Happy We're Still Married
    $3.95

    So Happy We're Still Married

  • #198
    I love you from the bottom of my heart. I know the bottom of my heart sounds like the crappy part, but that's actually were all my most thoughtful arteries are.
    $3.95

    Bottom Of My Heart/Love

  • #211
    This card doesn't even begin to explain how much I love you. Come to think of it.
I probably should have bought you a card that does begin to explain how much I love you.
    $3.95

    Doesn't Begin To Explain

  • #212
    Love of My Life Love of My Life
    $3.95

    Love of My Life

  • #164
    Happy Jewish Holiday Happy Jewish Holiday
    $3.95

    Happy Jewish Holiday

  • #261
    I bought you this card for the holidays.
It's printed on a special paper that repels the Coronavirus. Just kidding. You should definitely wash your hands right now.
    $3.95

    Coronavirus Holiday Card

  • #108
    Died For Our Sins Died For Our Sins
    $3.95

    Died For Our Sins

  • B-001
    Happy Birthday/Instructions (B) Happy Birthday/Instructions (B)
    $3.95

    Happy Birthday/Instructions (B)

  • B-002
    Happy Birthday from Us (B) Happy Birthday from Us (B)
    $3.95

    Happy Birthday from Us (B)

  • B-004
    Third Best Friend (B) Third Best Friend (B)
    $3.95

    Third Best Friend (B)

  • B-006
    Best Birthday Card Ever (B) Best Birthday Card Ever (B)
    $3.95

    Best Birthday Card Ever (B)

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