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HISTORY OF BGG


 

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THE STORY OF HOW IAN KALMAN AND SEAN FARRELL BECAME THE FIRST TWO OPENLY STRAIGHT MEN IN THE GREETING CARD INDUSTRY.
Hey there, this is Ian Kalman and I'm the guy on the right. I'm the head writer at Bald Guy Greetings. And the guy on the left is Sean Farrell. He runs the art department and works out of the North American Headquarters for Bald Guy Greetings. At least, that's what we tell people. In reality, I'm the only writer and Sean is the entire art department. When it comes to small businesses, they don't get any smaller than Bald Guy Greetings.

I'm actually not done writing this part. I'll get back to it soon. I have a million things to do.  As a small business owner, I wear a lot of hats. And as a bald man, I also wear a lot of hats. Okay, I'll update this soon. Sorry about that. In the meantime, go read a few of our cards. If you read any five cards, I guarantee you'll like at least four of them. And if for some reason you don't think they're funny at all, that's okay. I'm more than happy to explain to you why you're wrong. Just give me a call. I can do it in 90 seconds. Shoot, I really have to go right now, but I'll be back soon. Hopefully, no one sees this. (It's 11:41pm on Saturday February 8th, 2025 and I'm going to step away for the night)


AUGUST 22ND, 2005 – THE VERY BEGINNING 
It all started when Ian wrote a message on a birthday cake for his good friend Craig. The message on the cake read, “35 years old! If this were  the 1700’s, you’d be dead!” Much to Ian’s delight, everyone laughed.Well, everyone except for Jack Woodworth, but Ian never really found Jack that funny, so he viewed the cake writing as a considerable hit. That evening, someone mentioned to Ian that the message he wrote would be a funny greeting card and the first glimmer of what would one day be “Bald Guy Greetings” shined. Also, it should be noted that the cake cost $25 bucks and no one ever offered to pay Ian back. For those interested, it was a 1/2 sheet Baskin-Robbins ice cream cake made with mint chip ice cream and chocolate cake.
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OCTOBER 10TH, 2005 – THE WRITING OF THE CARDS.
Ian completed the writing of the cards. He had 50 cards that he loved and was ready to test them out in the world. And by the world, he meant   his friends at his old job and the Chinese guy that works next door.
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OCTOBER 15TH, 2005 – THE SWEET 16
After a month of deliberation, 16 cards surfaced as the favorites. Although the words on a blank page were brilliant enough, Ian quickly realized these cards needed a design element. Ian knew exactly where to turn. Unfortunately, Ian’s first choice was not available, but he knew exactly where to turn second. He turned to his long time friend and artist, Sean Farrell. And the partnership was formed. The rest is history. Well, not history. What’s the word I’m looking for? Wait, history was the right word, never mind.
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NOVEMBER 9TH, 2005 – THE ORIGIN OF THE NAME
At a lunch with his buddy Steve, Ian explained that he needed a better name for his greeting cards, that at the time, were called, “Kalman’s Greetings." Steve let out a guffaw and said, “Why not call them Bald Guy Greetings?” At first, Ian became enraged thinking that Steve was making fun of Ian’s lack of hair, but after his temper tantrum, Ian decided he loved the name and was completely comfortable with his baldness.

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DECEMBER 15TH, 2005 – OUR 1ST SALE
Rafi Kugler of San Francisco bought ten Christmas cards that Ian and Sean printed on a little HP printer. And 10 Christmas cards is pretty good for Rafi, because he’s half-Jewish. I bet if they had a Chanukah card at the time, they would have been able to sell ten more.
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JANUARY 20TH, 2006 – BOOKING THE STATIONERY SHOW
Ian and Sean secured a booth at the National Stationery Show in New York City for May 21st – 24th, 2006.
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JANUARY 25TH – FEB 8TH, 2006
Ian went on vacation. This has nothing to do with the history of Bald Guy Greetings, 
but Ian had a really good time and doesn’t ever want to forget it. And check out the dates, that’s a full 2 weeks and it was awesome.
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MAY 15TH, 2006 – THE PRINTING OF THE CARDS.
I can’t think of anything clever to say here. They printed the cards and then they picked them up on this date. That’s really it. To be honest, I can’t even believe you’re still reading this.
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MAY 21ST – MAY 24TH, 2006 – THE NATIONAL STATIONERY SHOW
It would be here that we showed our cards to buyers, storeowners and reps from all around the world. Well, not exactly ALL around the world. There was no one there from Antarctica. And Africa was practically absent too. Well, we did see one girl from Nigeria and she was really nice. So yeah, Africa was definitely there. But not in forces. It was during this show that we actually realized there is a strong need for truly funny greeting cards. There were very few greeting card companies that had legitimately funny cards. There was one card company that had some pretty funny cards, but there is no way in hell we’re gonna mention them on our website. After all, we kind of want you to buy Bald Guy Greetings, not some other people’s cards. But Natalie and Armand, if you are reading this, we think your cards are funny. Now get the hell off of our site. This concludes the real history of Bald Guy Greetings, but if you buy a thousand cards from us, you have a chance of being added to the history as the first store to buy 1,000 cards from us.