It's your party and you can cry if you want to. - Bald Guy Greetings

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Of course, I'm kidding. Could you imagine if YOU were the best person I knew? What would that say about me? But I definitely want to wish you a happy birthday.
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I'm 100% serious. I really do hope you have an amazing birthday. I was nervous that this card would come off as sarcastic, because you never fucking get me a card on my birthday..
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If you had my face and my body, you'd really be something. Happy Birthday.
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Testicles are definitely not one of them. Happy Birthday
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It's your birthday, you know what that means
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